The Great Starbucks Bagel Grammar Foofaraw

Have you ever gone into a Starbucks and cursed their fake "Venti, Grande" size names? Sure. Gimme a "Large," amirite? And have you ever had police remove you from Starbucks for arguing about bagel-related grammar? Anyone? One lady has!

Lynne Rosenthal, an English Ph.D., is the type of English Ph.D.-holder who does her part for society by enforcing the rules of grammar (as interpreted by Lynne Rosenthal) with a fierceness usually associated with female tigers protecting their young. Not only does Lynne Rosenthal refuse to play the Starbucks Fake Italian Name for Sizes game—she also refuses to order her bagel with or without specific toppings. Uh, hero?

[Scene: Rosenthal goes into an 86th St. Starbucks and orders a multigrain bagel. The counterperson asks her "Do you want butter or cheese?" Oh no she didn't!]

"I just wanted a multigrain bagel," Rosenthal told The Post. "I refused to say 'without butter or cheese.' When you go to Burger King, you don't have to list the six things you don't want.

"Linguistically, it's stupid, and I'm a stickler for correct English."

Huh. You know I'm no English Ph.D., but I could swear that "Do you want butter or cheese?" would actually be considered "correct English." Maybe they changed the grammar rules and whatnot since my days in school, though, who knows.

So anyhow Lynne Rosenthal argued with the Starbucks employee so much that eventually the police had to come in and ask her to leave. It's heroes like Lynne Rosenthal who sacrifice so that future generations may not be forced by The System to say the words "Plain, please."

The Great Starbucks Bagel Grammar Foofaraw

[NYP. Pic via]