For what seems like one million years now, media outlets have gleefully reported that America is full of sex-hungry cougar women, chasing young men down and sucking them dry. Minor correction: turns out that's not true.
A new actual scientific study by researchers at the University of Wales reveals that the same old things that we all once knew were true are actually still true, and nothing's really changed. Reuters has the blockbuster summary:
Women generally seek an older and, therefore hopefully, wealthier man, according to the UWIC study.
Men, on the other hand, desire a young and attractive female, and often prefer a much younger partner as they themselves age.
Stop the motherfucking presses, amirite? Stop them and have sex with them, out of lust and/or a desire for security, if they are older and/or younger than you, depending on your gender. Ah, well. Look on the bright side, world media outlets: this study confirms the existence of cougar men. Preying on young women! Insatiable in their golf shirts and Porsches! Sexxxy is back—cougar-style!