John McCain To Actually Win an Election TomorrowS

It sure would be funny if John McCain lost his Arizona Senate primary tomorrow to dumb, corrupt, infomercial-starring ex-congressman J.D. Hayworth. Sadly, McCain's all but guaranteed a blowout victory. Sometimes bolting shamelessly to the right works! Having money helps, too.

Some conservatives who have long despised John McCain — for his campaign finance reform law, voting against the Bush tax cuts, supporting "amnesty" in comprehensive immigration reforms, among other things — and very hesitantly supported him in 2008 thought that the Tea Party-backed Hayworth might finally get the job done. That's not going to work. Polls in the past couple of months have shown McCain with a 20- or 30-percentage point lead. One showed him ahead by 45! C'mon, Arizona.

So how much of John McCain's return to his winning ways is attributable to his frequently hilarious ultra-conservative policy switches — whether it be denying that he ever called himself a "Maverick," his sudden hatred of a cap-and-trade energy system, or his relentless advocacy for a border fence that he once considered stupid and useless?

Probably very little! What's more important is the $21 million he's spent, compared to Hayworth's (approximately) $3 million. And having some slow pitches to hit out of the park always helps in the attack ad department— whether it's Hayworth's good friendship with disgraced ex-lobbyist Jack Abramoff, or his past employment offering "FREE MONEY FROM THE GOVERNMENT!" in trashy infomercials. Also, the one about Hayworth being dumb.

But really, it's the $21 million vs. $3 million thing.

Still: cross your fingers! Maybe the planets will align and John McCain will lose to some hilarious nut after all.

[Image via AP]