It's primary day in Arizona! And a nation wonders: Will hilarious, pseudonymous porn scribe Ben Quayle, Dan Quayle's weird kid, overcome the adversity and win his congressional primary? Who knows! But he's enlisting daddy's help for a final push.
Ben Quayle, a 33-year-old investor of some sort, was caught up in a bizarre scandal earlier this month when the founder of sexy making-fun-of-girls website TheDirty.com alleged that Quayle had contributed pseudonymous sex tales a few years ago to the site's previous iteration, DirtyScottsdale.com. Quayle at first denied any association with the site or its founder, but after a series of grinding "clarifications" over the course of a few days, he conceded that he had contributed.
Then he released the most awkward campaign ad in history to distract the media, which didn't work, instead leading to a delightful avalanche of mockery.
Let's roll that clip one more time, for the fans.
Ha! That ad is 100% gold.
Quayle, who raised more money than his nine Republican primary opponents because, let's see, his dad was vice president — George Bush Sr., for example, held a big fat-cat fundraiser for Quayle at his Houston home earlier this year — has one chief rival for today's primary, businessman Steve Moak. The entire field has been slinging mud at each other, pretty shamelessly, for the past few weeks. But Quayle appears to be taking most of it, probably because it's so damn easy and really really fun.
It's gotten so bad that Dan Quayle stepped in last night and sent an email blast:
Though Dan Quayle appeared with his son in an early campaign ad and has tapped his extensive fundraising network to help his son, the e-mail is the first time the former vice president has publicly inserted himself into Ben Quayle's campaign.
"With the recent turn of events, I cannot in good conscience remain silent," Dan Quayle wrote, the e-mail going out less than 24 hours before voters head to the polls in the Tuesday primary.
Ben Quayle's leading opponent, businessman Steve Moak, has been airing a TV ad linking Quayle to the site and asking "Is this the type of behavior we want from our next congressman?"
Dan Quayle slammed the Moak ad in his e-mail, and claims that the ad tries to "destroy my son and his reputation."
"I took my fair share of outrageous slams in politics but Steve Moak's vicious smear against my son is over the top and unprecedented," Dan Quayle wrote. "I have never in my 35 years of politics seen such an ugly, slanderous assault in the closing days of a campaign against a fellow Republican."
What an opportunity for Steve Moak! If his campaign has enough time today, it should really put out a web ad making fun of Ben Quayle for getting his daddy to yell at the bullies.
Still, we on the blogging circuit are pulling for a Ben Quayle blowout tonight. Wouldn't it be a shame to lose a political comedy act with such potential so early in the year? C'mon, bro, you can do it!