Happy Mondays Hype Man Jailed for Beating Ex-Girlfriend, Losing MindS

Scientists finally have concrete data on the long-term effects of ecstasy use: Bez, the hype man for 90's Manchester band Happy Mondays, was jailed for failing to do community service after choking his ex girlfriend and having a courtroom meltdown.

Bez, aka Mark Berry, was fighting with his girlfriend Monica Ward in May after he accused her of stealing money. So he lost it, kicked in a door and choked her. Ward says he was "looking insane" as he gripped her throat. This incident earned Bez four weeks of community service, which he refused to do. Bez, who was representing himself in court, he told the judge, "I'm not doing it. Bothered. I'm going to appeal and take this to a real court," according to the Telegraph. He was cuffed and on his way to the jail cell he yelled "Victory is in my grasp." Bez later said he would accept the community service deal, but he remains in jail.

And this, thirtysomethings, is how your brain could soon function. Hope it was fun!