'Cleavage-Obsessed' Judge Quits Over 'Massive Porn Cache'

Manhattan criminal judge James Gibbons resigned on Thursday after officials found porn on his work computer. But wait! What kind of porn?

"All young women," according to the New York Daily News' source, who added, "lots of crotch and cleavage shots." Young women? Crotches?? Cleavage shots??! In porn?! No wonder the New York Post describes the pornography as "questionable"! (Non-questionable pornography includes Playboy before 1967 and Tex Avery cartoons.)

Gibbons, who was appointed by former Mayor Rudy Giuliani and presided over one of supermodel Naomi Campbell's cases, sent a three-sentence resignation (what, was he writing it with one hand??) to his superiors. He hasn't been arrested, and no charges have been filed.

No fear, though: The D.A.'s office is "scouring" the "vile files" for... clues, or something. But as the Post and the Daily News both imply, we probably should have seen this coming. So-called "Judge" Gibbons fathered a child... out of wedlock. And that's not even the worst part: The child's mother works for Legal Aid. You know—a hippie lawyer.

"They began investigating him for possibly not recusing himself," according to a Post source, "then Bam! They come across child pornography." Or not, according to the Daily News: "Despite the possible conflicts of interest between Gibbons and Emhoff, a source close to the case said, their affair was unrelated to the investigation. Either way, one thing's for certain: Porn is gross.

[NYDN; NYP]