Hunters, You May Continue to Pump Animals Full of Lead

Bet none of you Liberals had any idea about the most pressing threat to our nation's freedom since Obamacare, did you? The EPA was considering banning lead bullets because it poisoned animals. The ban has been rejected. Freedom, saved!

In a secret ploy to infringe on Americans' Second Amendment rights (the right to buy dirt cheap lead bullets), a group of environmental non-profits filed a petition with the EPA to ban the use of lead tackle in fishing and lead bullets in hunting (or fishing—you can shoot fish!). These groups cited hundreds of studies which they claim "document the toxic effects of lead on wildlife."

The environmental groups also argued that lead bullets, which account for 90 percent of ammunition, harmed the human beings who hunted and killed those animals via tainting their meat. Which goes to show how full of shit these environmental groups are: Nobody actually kills anything when they go hunting. You just get really drunk and then shoot your guns at trees. (And if anyone says there's studies about lead bullets being bad for trees we are going to shoot them, with a lead bullet, which we are legally permitted to own because this is AMERICA and not North Korea.)

Anyway, looks like the EPA decided not to infuriate the NRA, sayingin a statement: " the agency does not have the legal authority to regulate this type of product under the Toxic Substances Control Act (TSCA) – nor is the agency seeking such authority."

Now if you'll excuse us, we're going to go shoot some pine trees.