Eighteen percent of Americans think Obama is Muslim. Twenty-seven percent believe he "probably" or "definitely" wasn't born in the U.S. Obama's response? "I can't spend all of my time with my birth certificate plastered on my forehead." Well, why not?

Alleged President Obama sat down with 30 Rock cast member Brian Williams on Sunday to talk about some... French city? Or something? Who even knows?? Because the important part is that Obama once again rejected the demands of millions of reasonable Americans, who are just naturally suspicious of this black fellow claiming to be president. See, Obama told Williams that he "can't spend all of my time with my birth certificate plastered on my forehead." Oh, and why is that, "Mister" "President"? Most likely because you can't plaster something to your forehead... if it doesn't exist.

How un-American did Obama reveal himself to be during his interview? So un-American that he didn't even watch any of Glenn "MLK" Beck's "Restoring America's Virginity" rally on Saturday, despite the fact that it's the most important event to take place in the U.S. since the Inception premiere. So un-American that he supports the so-called "constitution," even if it means that Muslims are allowed to build mosques in this country!

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Oh, and, as for this "New Orleans" thing, well: On the one hand, the full extent of the horrors of Hurricane Katrina may never be known. And on the other hand, uh. Something else.