Former Bush administration U.N. ambassador and angry flappy-mouthed war monster John Bolton has been asked, out of the blue, if he'd consider a presidential run in 2012. He can't bring himself to say "no." Oh god. Run for cover!
Bolton, whom George W. Bush appointed to the U.N. ambassadorship during a 2005 congressional recess, loves bombing people. This is what made him such a puzzling choice for the role of a top international diplomat, instead of top war-bomber. Previously he had been an undersecretary for arms control in the State Department, where he worked in a hairy, mold-infested secret lair for four years, being disgusting.
Not shy about his position on a wide range of issues, would this critic-in-chief consider a run for commander-in-chief in 2012? Bolton didn't reject the idea out of hand.
"[I]t is a very great honor that anybody would even think of asking. I'm obviously not a politician. I've never run for any federal elective office at all and, you know, it is something that would obviously require a great deal of effort," he said. "What I do think, though, and what concerns me, is the lack of focus generally in the national debate about national security issues. Now, I understand the economy is in a ditch and people are concerned about it, but our adversaries overseas are not going to wait for us to get our economic house in order."
The man's compassion is limitless. Power Mustache '12!