The Way We Live Now: buying stocks. You better be! We are telling you, brother. You want a plan for long term financial success? Buy stocks. Right now. This is not even a joke.

Why is it time to get into stocks? Because everybody else is getting out of stocks. Here, observe how some blog called the "New York Times" rips off our catchphrase by declaring, "The Way We Live Now- Getting Out of Stocks."

Investors are scared right now. Everyone fears the US economy teetering over into the second trough of a double dip recession. Ben Bernanke is already busy assuring everyone that he'll do whatever he can to prevent another apocalypse. And what he can do is...not much.

So where is all the money going? Treasury bonds. Measly Treasury bonds, with a minuscule yield and their very own bubble, besides. Sure, stocks have their own risks, but barring a whole Japan-style "lost decade," they're a pretty fair bet to outperform these bonds over the next ten years or so, and certainly over the next 20.

How do I know that? I don't, of course. Despite what you may think about most bloggers who make up jokes about news stories, I don't have a Master's or better in finance. But I do know this: buy an index fund with low fees. Buy it when everyone else is not buying it, because the price will be lower. Then hold onto it for 20 years, minimum. Do not touch it. What's that? You say you want to "pick some stocks" and "time the market?" I SAID DON'T TOUCH IT. At the end of that time, you will have quite a bit more money than you started with. And you will be happy that you followed our advice. Now is the time to Vanguard it, America. If you wait until the "experts who know things" to tell you that it's time to get back into stocks, you will have already missed the opportunity.

Burton Malkiel is watching you.