The Future of American Food: Deep-Fried Beer

An inventor has come up with a method for deep-frying beer for a competition at—what else?—the Texas state fair. Three cheers for America! So how do you deep-fry beer? Here's the quick-and-dirty recipe:

  • 1. Make little ravioli pockets of a "pretzel-like" dough.
  • 2. Fill with beer.
  • 3. Deep fry for around 20 seconds.
  • 4. Marvel at the world, that such a thing as deep-fried beer exists.

I know what you're thinking: Will my hunk of oil-covered starch still get me wasted? Ha—are you kidding?! The 20-second cooking time is "short enough... for the confection to remain alcoholic." Sign me up for 20! No, 100!

Mark Zable, deep-fried beer's "inventor" (the Telegraph refuses to use the word "chef"), says he's spent three years perfecting his "cooking method," and will charge five dollars for five of the little symbols of wanton disregard for health. Currently he's making it with Guinness, but is considering a pale ale variety, because if there's one thing that describes consumers of deep-fried beer, it's "discerning."

What does it taste like, besides the dreams of millions of immigrants and the blood of American soldiers? Zable says: "It tastes like you took a bite of hot pretzel dough and then took a drink of beer." But, instead of eating pretzel dough and then lifting up your heavy glass and moving your lips to drink beer, you can do it all in one swift and easy motion. It's like a hot pocket that will get you drunk!

Update: Or maybe you're just not a "beer" person? The Dallas Morning News, which broke the story of Zable's concoction, brings news of a Deep Fried Frozen Margarita. A myth? No:

The Deep Fried Frozen Margarita includes a funnel cake batter mixed with either tequila or tequila-flavored wine, dusted with margarita mix and served in a salt-rimmed plastic glass.

(Note that, unfortunately, the deep fried margarita will not get you drunk. Just fat.)

The deep-fried alcoholic foods will make their official debut at the Texas state fair as part of a fried-food competition, won last year by a recipe for deep-fried butter. Just a thought: If someone invented a way to deep-fry people as an execution method, he or she could become the governor of Texas overnight.

[Dallas Morning News; Telegraph]