American politics makes such little sense nowadays that any random jumble of words you put together is likely to describe a real-world situation. For example: Some Chicago dentist is currently running "Hillary 2012" TV ads in New Orleans. It's true!

The ad up top, produced by Chicago dentist William DeJean, is obviously creepy and insane and hilarious. Still: why does it even exist?

Well, this William DeJean dentist guy seems like a real character! We're just hearing about him today, and he's already dropping quotes-of-the-week:

The commercial was paid for by a Chicago dentist named William DeJean.

When asked why he put the ad up, DeJean told CNN Thursday that "I'm a dentist and I don't think this country is headed in the right direction."

Nice. He should start all of his sentences like that. "I'm a dentist and that is a lovely potato," "I'm a dentist and the answer is 32," "I'm a dentist and I sell flood insurance for a living," and so on.

Maybe this story would make more sense if DeJean bothered explaining: Why spend thousands of dollars to produce and buy airtime for a useless political ad, when you could simply walk to the nearest corner store, buy a 99-cent Bic lighter, and light thousands of dollars on fire?

Because there is a less-than-zero percent chance that Hillary Clinton will primary Barack Obama in 2012. Yeah, that's right. Maybe there's a 0.05% chance of it, you say? Well, you are both wrong and stupid. And a dentist.