Jesse James Convinces a Woman to Love Him, and Other Impossible FeatsS

Kat Von D goes public with Jesse James: "I am in love." Kendra Wilkinson wants to bite Beyonce's butt. T.I.'s drug arrest was for ecstasy. Vienna Girardi is so alone. TGIFriday gossip.

  • Against all reason, Jesse James as convinced another woman to love him. After tweeting—then deleting—confirmation of her relationship with America's most hated man Jesse James, L.A. Ink star Kat Von D is back to burbling with love: "Jesse is only my ninth boyfriend. I don't hang out with anybody unless I am in love." Until the amorous arrows of the love god strikes, she sits alone in a tower, staring at a wall. As the pair nuzzled on the red carpet for Kat's gallery opening, a reporter asked Kat if Jesse is "The One": "I believe he is, so yeah." Jesse has so far said two words about the relationship in public: "Yes" and "everything," on whether he's dating Kat and what he likes about her, respectively. [People, image via Splash]

  • Turns out T.I.'s drug arrest was for a "small amount" of pills thought to be ecstasy. Maybe it was Excedrin? The big 'E's stamped on the side can be confusing. [TMZ]

  • Rafael Nadal got a haircut and "some of the young women in the salon took some of Nadal's hair off the floor when no one was looking, to keep as souvenirs." Voodoo love potions, or Samson and Delilah? [P6]

  • Moments after Tiger Woods finalized his divorce from Elin Nordegren (thereby losing $100 million) the court bailiff asked Tiger to pose for a picture with him. The resulting picture: Pained and funny. [TMZ]

  • As had been speculated, Larry Rudolph—the manager who brought Britney Spears back from the abyss—has signed Lindsay Lohan. Though LiLo has been "telling everyone she is more than ready for work," Rudolph has her "on lockdown." Wise man. [P6]

  • Rachel Uchitel finally got her Park Avenue apartment: After reports that condo and co-op boards were blackballing her left and right, Tiger Woods' most famous mistress now owns $2 million, 3-bedroom home. Money can't buy you class, but it can buy absolutely everything else, always, so who fucking cares about class? Speaking of which, wouldn't Rachel be great on Real Housewives of New York? [TMZ]

  • Supermodel Bridget Hall is fighting the DUI she got in the Hamptons last weekend. Either the Breathalyzer malfunctioned or the cops lied, her lawyer says. [P6]

  • In her mind, Kendra Wilkinson has built a Frankenstein monster of Hollywood females' sexy bodyparts. It has "Johansson's legs and lips, because she has sexiness without trying" and the butt of Beyonce, which is so nice Kendra "wants to just bite it!" Back when she was on The Girls Next Door I assumed Kendra was a lesbian, and there for the naked girls and threeways. Now that she's popping out babies for her NFL star husband, Kendra's attraction to females is more like a child who compulsively undresses her Barbies. In every preschool class, there is one. [P6]

  • Reality scourge and runaway Bachelor winner Vienna Girardi is having trouble getting recognized: "I have to scream at people saying, 'I'm Vienna from The Bachelor!" [P6]