Here in the Greatest Country On Earth, our "abstinence plan" consists of your friends telling you not to go home with that dude when you're drunk. But in China, they're lucky enough to be harangued by America's own evangelical loons!

The Washington Post reports that groups of wheedling, superstitious, sexually repressed do-gooders like Focus on the Family are actually being allowed to train Chinese teachers in their awful "sex education curriculum," which consists of no sex and no education. The Communist Party is clearly losing its touch.

At an early demonstration of the abstinence curriculum two years ago - given to the Communist Youth League of China in Hangzhou - teens were supposed to end the seminar by making a virginity pledge, the hallmark of the Christian group's abstinence program. But government officials quickly stepped in, insisting that the kids pledge to no one but the Communist Party.

Sample getaway line that Focus on the Family is teaching Chinese girls: "Do you want to bet my future on that condom?"

"Sure, why not? Or I'll just take it off, more babies for Commnism, huzzah!" is what the Chinese boys will reply, in all likelihood. Check and mate.

[WP. Awesome pic by Shutterstock!]