Have you ever wanted to extract all human interaction from your drinking sessions? Me too. Luckily, spirited engineers are locked in an arms race to create the world's best mechanical booze-jockey. Choose your new robotic enabler inside.
1. Robotender "Ernie"
We start at the beginning. The world's first drink-serving robot, Robotender "Ernie", would actually compare well with today's models. Though his banter is a little on the corny side ("correctomundo"), he makes up for it with fairly quick bottle work. In any case, Ernie was the Jackie Robinson of drink-pouring robots.
Bar2D2, while lacking any human characteristics like his hydraulic-armed colleagues, gets by on mobility and the fact that he clearly wants to party. His flashing neon lights and abundance of drink space make for an appealing little bot.
In the unfortunate names department comes the "Cockbot" (cocktail bot... they should rethink that one), a slow-as-molasses server that looks more like a Rube Goldberg contraption than a working machine. The only plus-side is his owners' classy swing soundtrack.
Has the pleading voice of your friends and family still not stopped you from going over the limit? The guilt trip laid on by a little robot panda named "SoBear" might help you out. He measures your BAC via built in breathalyzer, and then decides whether you can drink or not. Of course, you can always just steal the bear's sweet liquor, but who wants to steal from a panda?
5. Lego Concept 1
Another entry in the amateur-built category is this German Lego machine. It seems to work well if you want whatever a Kiba is, and it gets points for being kid-friendly.
6. Lego Concept 2
This little Lego Gentleman is maybe the loudest entry in it's field, but is compact and again, who wouldn't be perked up by a Lego Bartender.
The Beertender, another hydraulic-armed giant at least gets the beer aspect right. It does a neat sideways pour, and even swirls the dregs of the bottle to raise the yeast when it's almost finished. It satisfies the beer snob in you.
8. Mr. Asahi
Another beer-only entry, Mr. Asahi is lightning fast and compact to boot. He does seem like he's phoning it in a little with the Asahi hard-sell though.
Of course, what article about servile robots would be complete with our friend Asimo. He's easily the most humanoid (read: creepy) entry in the robot-slave department, and seems to handle a tray of drinks well. Unfortunately, Asimo is the most likely to start a robot uprising.
And of course, saving the best (and obviously most well-funded) for last, we have the Robobar. This self-contained unit is fast, precise, and you don't have to tip it. It even has a screen that shows a human face which is capable of conversing with customers. I just hope it can understand the nuances of my darkest personal secrets.