Men! Do you feel lost on the dance floor? Are you having trouble scoring hot babes at the club? Don't worry! Scientists have identified the sexiest dance moves. Want to see them?
According to the study—led by psychologist Dr. Nick Neave and researcher Kristofor McCarty of Northumbria University in the UK—the big secret to good dancing is using your whole body (as demonstrated above), and not just your arms and legs. (Specifically, we are talking about good dancing by straight men, intended to impress straight women, for the purpose of doing it.)
How did they figure it out? The researchers used 3D motion-capture technology (like the kind that Hollywood special-effects departments use to create Gollum and Megan Fox) to record the dancing of 19 male volunteers. They then transferred the moves to a computer-generated avatar (to eliminate qualities like "height" and "actual attractiveness, in the face") and had a group of 37 straight women rate the dancing on a scale of one to seven. Dr. Neave and his team still don't know exactly why women like "flexing the trunk"—but they sure do!
You can see some of these primally sexxual moves in the above video, which you are probably already getting "hot and bothered" over, in your area. So, straight women, here is what you like: High kicks, florid arm-waving, "the running man," and faceless guys in skintight body suits. Don't contradict me, straight women! Science says I'm right!
Here are the bad moves, which will make you join a nunnery:
And, for good measure, here are the amazing dance moves, as determined by anyone with a brain: