A new study indicates that French people have pretty terrible sex lives, with more than three-quarters of respondents saying that sexual problems were causing relationship problems. But what about every stereotype of French people, ever?

What is going on, France?! According to the poll—commissioned by a pharmaceutical research corporation, who probably have no ulterior motive at all in telling French people they have a problem—76 percent of French people report that problems in their relationships were the result of sexual problems. More than one-third of women and one-sixth of men also report that they made excuses—"headaches, tiredness or children being nearby"—to get out of sex. (Sample excuses, based on my expert knowledge of French: "Alors, Pierre, je ne peux pas le sex aujord'hui, parce que les enfants sont fermee"; "Puis, Jacqueline, j'ai un mal de tete, et je ne veux pas osseuse avec toi.")

Even worse, "half of French people felt that at times they simply had 'no desire' to have sex." I cannot believe that sometimes French people don't want to have sex! Next thing you know there'll be a survey indicating that French people don't wear striped shirts and berets when they go to the market on their bikes to buy baguettes.