Failed Christian rock singer and current national embarrassment Katy Perry was performing at her old Santa Barbara high school on Tuesday when she spotted a former crush in the audience. She decided then to dedicate her worst song to him.
The story goes like this:
"Is that Shane Lopes?" Perry said in a break between songs. "You were the most popular kid in my class! But you never wanted to date me, it was always Amanda Wayne. Oh yeah, you really chose right honey. What's up. What's up now, player. I'm going to dedicate this next one to Shane Lopes everyone. "
She then launched into a rendition of her song Ur So Gay as the crowd cheered and howled in laughter.
HAHAHAHAHAH. Get it??? Because stupid Shane Lopes didn't want to build a little loveshack on acres of forehead, he is so gay. Ha ha!! Gay is so stupid. Except when you're kissing gurlz and kinda liking it! Then it's fine, tee hee. Also, Katherine: "Player"? Fuck you. Just seriously. You are the living worst. Please go live alone by yourself on your stupid candy planet for hacks and curl up with Jesus or whoever it is that's convenient for you to be in league with these days and let the grownups do their things here on Earth.
Update: There's video of the event and, yeah, the whole thing looks pretty staged, what with that big You Again poster and Perry's stilted line delivery. Still the essence of my morning hangover rage still holds strong: It's a shitty song to write and play as an insult, no matter how fake and stupid the situation. Katy Perry: Still the worst, should still exile herself on Candy Planet.