Carl Paladino Attacks Andrew Cuomo's Testicles

New York Republican gubernatorial nominee Carl Paladino, after showing opponent Andrew Cuomo's poopy skin lesions in all their gruesome detail, is now going after Cuomo's "cojones" in an open letter. Does Cuomo even have testicles? Is he even a man?

Paladino's letter, which was just sent to our inbox with the delightful Shepard Fairey-knockoff illustration shown here, demands that Cuomo debate him immediately, if he has the "cojones." But Cuomo already seems okay with a debate! Carl Paladino just wants another opportunity to showcase his vulgarity:

Frankly, i dont think you have the cojones to face me and the other candidates in a open debate. I dont think you have the cojones to answer direct questions regarding the mistakes you made at HUD in pushing a sub-prime mortgage scheme that cost taxpayers $2.4 trillion dollars and cost most New Yorkers the value of their 401-Ks. I dont think you have the cojones to answer questions about why you embraced ethically-challenged Charlie Rangel while pledging to clean up corruption. I don't think you haved the cojones to defend why some were prosecuted in the Hevesi Pension scandal while others - including many of your key supporters - were not.

So Andrew, for the first time in your life be a man. Don't hide behind daddy's coattails even though he pulled strings to advance your career every step of your way. Come out and debate like a man.

(Grammatical errors are all his.)

You know, if upper-income tax rates were just a lil' bit higher, maybe people like Carl Paladino wouldn't have enough cash to self-finance their insanity campaigns. Consider.