Scottsdale, Arizona's raunchiest porn scribe, Ben Quayle—spawn of America's greatest vice president—has resurfaced with his latest congressional campaign ad. Get your paper and pencil ready now, because young Master Quayle has some important numbers to share.
Are there many things funnier than watching Ben Quayle speak directly into a camera about anything? Well yes, many things are funnier, but still, this is good shit. It takes at least 30 seconds to figure out what in hell he's talking about. (A trail? Something about a "journey"?)
But this seems to be the gist: all of our macroeconomic data, like GDP, government share of GDP, etc., were perfectly normal and healthy for decades and decades. But then in late 2008, all of our economic data turned to shit! Quayle concludes that this is because Barack Obama was elected president in 2008. It's an interesting theory of Quayle's, but most economic experts and really anyone with half a brain believe that our economic data turned sour because the entire fucking financial system and economy collapsed months before Obama's election. Read the newspapers, Quayle.
Ben Quayle's probably going to win his congressional election, is the amazing thing.
Update: Perhaps we were distracted gazing into his eyes, but there's one very odd ("wrong") statistic he raises. The U.S. federal government, which he's trying to join, is not spending $14.5 trillion this year; it's more like $3.5 or $3.6 trillion. Total government spending is about $6.4 trillion. Maybe he's looking at some other data? Something never was quite right about this boy.