European Food Conglomerate Validates Stupid 'Eat Like a Caveman' Trend Diet

We once made fun of "Paleos," the "small New York subculture whose members seek good health through a selective return to the habits of their Paleolithic ancestors." But, by God, Dutch food conglomerate 'Unilever' is doing the same thing!

Unilever is the multinational food conglomerate that owns, among other brands, Ben & Jerry's and Lipton. According to the Times of London (Subscription required), Unilever has amassed a team of anthropologists, chemists and other experts to study the "average caveman's diet."

Unilever scientists will try to reconstruct the prehistoric diet and identify whether it contained nutritional benefits, different characteristics or forgotten ingredients that could be put into what we eat today. Within 18 months to two years, the company hopes to determine whether its research has commercial potential and, if so, products directly influenced by the project could emerge within five years.

In five years, you could be eating Tastee-Twig-N-Dirt Salad Dressing from Wishbone or drinking Sabre-Tooth-Tiger Blood Shakes from Slimfast (both Unilever brands). Perhaps most worrying, though: Those annoying New York Paleos who describe their lifestyle as "Hunter-gatherer" are being copied at the highest level of food science? Nobody tell Unilever scientists about the Hipster Moonshine Trend.