Paris Hilton Owns the Phrase 'That's Hot,' and Other Revelations that Could Ruin the Weather Channel

Paris Hilton settles a lawsuit and makes history. Lindsay Lohan volunteers at a homeless shelter. Mariah Carey falls onstage at a concert. Lady Gaga dons a black leotard of mourning. Monday gossip is ready for its close-up.

  • Paris Hilton settled a lawsuit against Hallmark, which was hawking a card with the caption "Paris's first day as a waitress" and some kind of pun on Paris's catchphrase "That's hot." It's driving me insane that none of today's write-ups include what the pun actually was. Maybe she's burning her hands on a hot plate and saying "That's hot"? Or she's serving a bowl full of couture clothing and saying "That's haute"? Update: Here it is. Anyway, the case made it all the way to the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals (which handed Paris a victory) and is apparently important for those who care about legal precedents surrounding publicity and endorsements. [Reuters, MSNBC, image via Bauer-Griffin]

  • Lindsay Lohan volunteered at a homeless shelter yesterday, then tweeted about it. Meanwhile, various outlets claim she's headed back to rehab soon and on her own volition. [TMZ, @lindsaylohan, TMZ]

  • Brad Pitt caused a public mob in L.A. by walking into the American Girl store with daughter Zahara. Little Z was attending a birthday party for Soundgarten rocker Chris Cornell's daughter, Toni. No word whether Zahara owns an American Girl (which one? how many outfits? books, too?) but I suspect she would be a Samantha kind of girl, if not Josefina or Addy. [DailyMail]

  • Paris Hilton Owns the Phrase 'That's Hot,' and Other Revelations that Could Ruin the Weather ChannelLady Gaga's beloved grandfather passed away. She donned a black leotard of mourning and Hillary Clinton hair. [Radar, DailyMail]

  • Snooki was allegedly hospitalized for alcohol poisoning while filming the second season of Jersey Shore. MTV won't comment on it. [Radar]

  • Mariah Carey fell down mid-song at a concert in Singapore. She looks like a floppy rag doll, lands dramatically with her hands thrown over her head in "Ta-Da!" pose, and a back-up singer props her back up so she can teeter along some more. Everyone thinks Mimi's pregnant, so that makes the whole ordeal more harrowing, I suppose. [Radar]
  • Now Ashton Kutcher's self-proclaimed mistress says she has a sex tape. Duh. We'll believe it when we see it. [Radar]

  • Paris Hilton Owns the Phrase 'That's Hot,' and Other Revelations that Could Ruin the Weather ChannelChristina Aguilera is "yo-yoing in weight," but I'm more concerned by the yo-yoing in skin tone. [DailyMail]

  • Reichen Lehmkuhl—who will be on LOGO's gay Housewives show, and was an Air Force captain before winning The Amazing Race—gave an "impassioned speech" against Don't Ask Don't Tell the other night. I didn't realize Reichen served nine years in the military. Pay attention, because this fact might be The A List's only redeeming value. (Well, that and abs.) [P6]

  • Michael Lohan apparently sent threatening voicemails and texts to Lindsay Lohan's lawyer, Shawn Chapman Holley, who should really be getting combat pay for accepting this monster public trainwreck of a case. [TMZ]

  • And in other fabricated-from-thin-air Lindsay Lohan fantasies, some random lawyer thinks LiLo is due for a court-ordered conservatorship, just like Britney Spears. Dina and Michael are salivating already, so let's hope this one isn't true. [Fox411]