Not to alarm you, but forces beyond your control are working right now to limit your right to be bombarded with ads for dick-hardening pills during every televised sporting event and prime time show. Sex-hating Puritans? Even worse: doctors.

The American Academy of Pediatricians put out a statement today suggesting that ads for erectile dysfunction drugs not be shown till 10 p.m. Well sure—pediatricians only care about little kids who are too young to even be having sex. What about their parents, who can barely keep their eyes open past 9:30? How are they to know just how to discuss this sensitive issue with their doctors, preferably in the form of hootenany? And is it really necessary for the liberal media to propagandize the issue like this?

Aubin Parrish cringes and then grabs for the remote every time an ad of that ilk pops onto the screen as she watches primetime TV with her kids. "The commercials give the impression that the only thing adults do is think about their sexual function," says the mother of two kids, ages 11 and 4, from Cool, Calif. "And on some shows it seems like every other commercial break has an ED ad."

Right, we're supposed to believe there's a lady from "Cool, California" who doesn't think about sexual function at all times? Tell us another one, liberal media-pediatrician anti-boner industrial complex. Yank our ads? You'll have to yank us, first.