You'll never believe what happened on this week's Jersey Shore: People got drunk! People had promiscuous sex with exotic foreigners! Friends became enemies, and enemies stayed enemies! Is anyone keeping track anymore? Not Angelina, because she finally left!
In what seems to be the editor's favorite trick - or maybe just doing the best with what he's got - tonight's episode started off with the fight between Situation and Angelina that closed last week's episode. After punching him in the face, Angelina threatens to leave and inexplicably, Jwoww comes out of nowhere to tell her that hitting Mike in the face has earned her the right to live in the house. Very strange reasoning for sure, but keep in mind that this is a woman who spells "woww" with three "w's."
With his wounds healed, Situation proceeded to make good on his promise to bed the Canadian model he had met a few nights earlier. I'd say any night that begins with a girl picking out which pajamas she'll be wearing later before you even go out is like trying to skip to the end of a Choose Your Own Adventure book. But you know Canadians! They're always surprising you with their super sexy antics and loud personalities. Not shockingly, Mike's friend from the Great White North followed him home and ended up putting on a show for the entire household.
Who do these two think they are, Tai Domi and Belinda Stronach?! Amirite?!
After a lull in action, the great climax of the episode (aside from the previous clip, hah) finally arrived when Snooki did what she does best by grabbing a clump of Angelina's hair and pulling as if she intended to mow the lawn with her head. But why try to describe such spectacular debauchery when I can let the clip speak for itself?
And then the cast and crew all yell their goodbyes as Angelina and her burning Viking ship are quickly pushed off into the gentle surf of South Beach and slowly drift away from the Florida coast, never to be seen or thought of again.
Now go Google Belinda Stronach. Until next week, kids!