The New Math: Like the Old Math, But Dumber

In NYC, two-thirds of primary schools saw their scores decline in progress reports. In Chicago, parents are holding a sit-in protest to save their children's after-school center. Only the suburban schools are properly educating kids. By treating them like idiots.

While your crumbling city schools produce functionally illiterate dropouts who pin their career hopes on scratch-off lottery tickets, the schools of Franklin Lakes, New Jersey are producing kids who actually understand math. Their secret, as revealed by the New York Times: "Singapore Math," a teaching system that goes really, really slowly. It spends a whole week on the numbers one and two! And don't even get it started on the number eight:

In Franklin Lakes, teachers are learning the new math system as they pass the knowledge on to their students. One morning last week, Ms. Covello and six other kindergarten teachers worked with a consultant on how to reinforce the number 8 for students. First came a catchy tune about eight oranges; then they counted off one by one while throwing up their arms in a wave.

This system's advantage: it recognizes that kids are dumb, and adjusts for that fact. I mean, your urban youths are stuck with just this: "8. Eight things. One two three four five six seven eight. Count it. It's not that fucking hard. Jesus Christ."

While the burbs have oranges and shit. There's no way to compete.

[Pic via]