After last week's messy Britneyfest, it's good to see Glee back to its old form. We actually had songs from different artists driven by plot last night! More on Kurt's tearjerker of an episode after the jump.
Before I get to anything else that happened on the show last night, let's first discuss the MacGuffin that spawned the religious movement at McKinley high. Finn made a grilled cheese sandwich, as most teenage boys do when they're hungry. And it came out looking like this:
Thus, the Cheesus was born. Finn immediately fell deeply in love with the Cheesus, so much that he began worshipping it, praying to it to help him throughout the episode. And who can blame him? It worked! After they won the football game, that one miraculous event was all Finn needed to become a devout Cheesus worshipper.
Naturally, Finn then does what every religious zealot does — tells absolutely everyone who's within earshot about his newfound glory. His girlfriend was none too pleased.
Because, you know, she's pretty Jewish.
On the other end of the religious spectrum, Burt Hummel has a heart attack and ends up in a coma. Kurt, who already lost his mother as a kid, completely writes off God and religion and anything spiritual and, over the hour, gets pretty fed up with everyone trying to pray for his father. Kurt didn't even tell Finn, who was very preoccupied asking for Cheesus' help to get into Rachel's pants, that Burt was in the hospital. They're practically brothers! Not cool, Kurt, not cool.
Despite Kurt's reluctance to accept everyone's well wishes, Mercedes, the persistent diva she is, sings a Whitney Houston power ballad of healing.
And Kurt basically gives her a big ol' "Fuck you" face, being the persistent diva he is. A clash of the titans, if you will.
With all the spirituality being tossed around the chorus room, Sue takes this as a perfect opportunity to wreak some havoc and call Mr. Schue out on all the in-school Jesus worship.
While discussing their religions, Rachel drops two bombs on Finn: she's not going to have sex until she's 25 and she wants to raise her kids Jewish. So the Cheesus is not welcome in Rachel-world. Finn doesn't much care about the religion thing, however the virgin until 25 thing raises some concern. He slides into second base with her anyway. Praise Cheesus!
We also find out that even though they're full-fledged Gleeks by glee club standards, Brittany and Santana are still moles for Sue; however, their concern for Kurt shows that cracks might be forming in their double agent action plans. And Brittany, the dumb sweetheart that she is, gives Kurt a card that said, "Heart attacks are just from loving too much." Adorable. Just adorable.
Using the information provided by Brittany and Santana, Sue went after Kurt to exploit his anti-God policy and make him even more angry. Plus, we find out that her real worst enemy is Mary Lou Retton. Which totally makes sense because a) she is a Jesus freak and b) the hair.
Emma finds out about how Sue was egging on Kurt's atheism and then in a rare moment of self confidence, Emma goes off on Sue. Like, really, really off. It was kind of wonderful to see her being so assertive, but then Sue fires back with a really profound speech about how growing up watching her sister (who has Down's Syndrome) being teased and treated horribly is why she truly doesn't believe in God. And Emma felt really, really awkward.
(Side note: Sue's relationship with her sister is one of the most touching on the show. For all of Sue's faults and jibes and bitchy behavior, it's always so refreshing to see the kinder side of her when she visits with her. And man, can Jane Lynch act the hell out Sue Sylvester or what?)
In the locker room before another game, Puck catches Finn talking to Cheesus, this time asking it to steal back the quarterback spot from Sam. Sam feels the wrath of Cheesus and gets injured in the game, and, voila!, Finn is QB again.
Oh, and Artie actually is on the football team. Kind of. Okay, he's on the sidelines.
Later on, Finn and Rachel go on some strange seance date by a lake and as a prayer for Burt Hummel, she totally nails "Papa, Can you Hear Me" from Yentl—getting backup from her bedazzled boom box.
After all the pressure and prayer from his fellow students, Kurt finally opens up about how he feels about his father through an incredibly touching rendition of "I Wanna Hold Your Hand." And we meet little Kurt, who looks so much like Chris Colfer, I actually googled whether or not they CGI Benjamin Buttoned him. They didn't, sadly. Little Kurt was played by a normal kid.
The new, more open, Kurt agrees to go to church with Mercedes after she explains how they dedicate the service to a different person in need each week, and assures him that he can wear this fabulous hat, that was also worn by a sassy lady across the aisle from him.
In what might be the kindest gesture in an episode very full of love for one another, Mercedes dedicated the church service to Burt in honor of Kurt. She totally rocked the house by singing "Bridge Over Troubled Water" with a full blown gospel choir behind her. I'm just glad she finally got the backup she deserves. New Directions is good and all, but gospel choirs are pretty much the best backup singing anyone could ever ask for. I dare you to disagree. This scene was so powerfully touching, it may have taken the number one spot in my Glee-loving heart, pushing Kurt and Burt's father/son talk from last season to runner-up.
When Kurt returns to the hospital, his one-sided talk with his comatose father brings him into his own faith. After pushing against everything and everyone during the entire episode, what Kurt really needed all along was to understand that he had to have a little faith, no matter what it was, to help ease the pain of what he was going through. And the minute he said "I have faith in you," to Burt, Burt's hand delicately responded to his son. And while Kurt was finally coming into his own, Finn, on the other hand — who had been praying to a grilled cheese all week — lost all sense of subtlety by singing "Losing My Religion" and then eating his own deity. Even though it had been in his fridge for at least a week and (as commenter Chocolate-Wafer pointed out) he was bringing it to school every day. So gross.
I hope to Cheesus he doesn't get food poisoning.