Criminals: are they becoming less able? In cities across the world, it has been a terrible week for those who try to make their living by robbing others. Three examples below illustrate this embarrassing trend of outlaw incompetence.
- COPS ROB COP: Two Philadelphia police officers are in jail, charged with robbing a drug dealer for 20 pounds of weed and $3,000 in cash. That drug dealer: an undercover Philadelphia police officer. Woops.
- AUSSIE OLDIE BOLDLY HOLDS ME: A (38 year-old) crook in Geelong, Australia ran into a liquor store with a knife and took $600 from the clerk. He failed to remain aware of his surroundings—"[A 63 year-old] retiree, meanwhile, watched the robbery unfolding from outside the store. He alerted a 53-year-old man in the store's parking lot and the pair laid in wait behind a nearby shopping cart." What happened when the robber emerged with his knife? That's right, the old dude rammed the shopping cart into his legs, pinned him to the ground, and "instigated a citizen's arrest." Oldest mistake in the book.
- DUNKIN NO-NUT PUNKS LIKE DONUTS: A man with a gun tried to rob a Dunkin Donuts in Farmingdale, Long Island last night. He went in through the kitchen door, at which time "an employee sprayed him with hot water." He left empty-handed.