An irate Williamsburg, Brooklyn resident has posted a friendly-but-pointed note on their building's front door, asking a neighbor, whoever it may be, to stop blasting Katy Perry's "Teenage Dream" music album in the middle of the day. Seriously. Stop it.
If you know this person please tell them to stop. If you ARE this person, well we'll see you in hell. (Except you'll be in the special place for Katy Perry fans, which will be far away from us, the secret "Party in the USA" fans.) It is widely know that Katy Perry is the living worst and it is beyond cruel and unusual punishment to subject your neighbors to her cat-yowling at any time of day, noon or night.
If anyone out there has any information about this heinous crime, please contacts us at firstname.lastname@example.org. This madness and sadism must be stopped.