Do you know what a typical week at the office looks like for a social worker? Mark Lilly fathered a patient's baby and saved his best friend from a cult by turning into his ex-girlfriend. And that's all before Wednesday.

On the season premiere of Ugly Americans, Randall is having trouble stalking his ex, Krystal and joins a "Zombieology" rehab/cult center to get in touch with his inner undead monster. Mark's new roommate is a half of a co-dependent worm-head named Tim, recently separated from his right head. Tim gets a bit too attached to him, causing Mark to experience the miracle of life in the back of a cab.

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Meanwhile, Randall is progressing well through the ranks of Zombieology and Mark finally tries to rescue him from their undead grasp by having Leonard turn him into Krystal. Unfortunately, Leonard's a terrible wizard and Randall doesn't need much rescuing anyway. Cursed to die in by accelerated old age, he's forced to do some rather unsavory things to get his body back...