Justin Bieber Longs for a 'Normal' Life, and Other Burdens of Fame

The recording industry's Chosen One questions the machine that created him. Ashton and Demi "share love" in Israel. George Michael gets out of prison. Crystal Bowersox weds in a hemp dress decorated with seashells. Monday gossip has doubts.

  • Justin Bieber longs for a normal life, but knows he can never go back: "Now that I'm here, I sometimes wish I could just go back home and chill. But if I was at home and I wasn't doing this, I'd wish that I was in this position." He's like the tragic hero figure in every sci-fi novel: Burdened by being The One. He didn't feel "normal" as a little boy, either, and "longed for a 'normal' life with a 'normal' family," by which he meant one that wasn't poor. It's actually more normal to live in a family where your parents struggle to make ends meet, but Disney channel indoctrination is a bitch. Either way, he'll never know "normal," now. [ShowBizSpy, image via @justinbieber]

  • Kim Kardashian: Still hunting for a man. Your daily Kim Kardashian butt description: "ripe-rumped." [P6]

  • But soft! What romance on yonder continent breaks? It is Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore, tweeting about "Sharing Love & Light while in Israel"! One "source" said the adultery-rumor-wracked couple was there to renew their vows; another "source" said Ashton just had a conference or something. [People, NYDN]

  • George Michael has been freed from prison for driving under the influence of drugs. He'll be partying with Lindsay Lohan in no time. [CNN]

  • Eminem has a no swearing rule in his household. "I have daughters. I mean, how would I really sound, as a person walking around my house cussing? I don't cuss." Everyone, go home and tell your loved ones to fuck off, and you will be more badass than Eminem! [ShowBizSpy]

  • Michael Phelps' new hobby is golf. They say he liked all the grass. [P6]

  • Talking about her feelings at the Betty Ford Center, Lindsay Lohan apparently blames her father for her "primary problem [which] is cocaine." I mean, duh. She's already given quotes saying she was "only aware of cocaine because of my dad." [TMZ, Radar]

  • The Situation comes from a "dysfunctional family" where his father "battered" his mother and threatened to cut her "into pieces," according to their divorce papers and a "family friend," who is probably not their "friend" anymore. [NatlEnq]

  • All the guests at the Sister Wives polygamous wedding were ashamed to be there and tried to hide their faces from the cameras. Being friends with pariahs is hard. [TMZ]

  • Poor Dustin Diamond is in foreclosure again, for the third time in the last four years. Now that we've already seen him having sex, there's not much else he can sell to save himself and his Wisconsin home. [TMZ]

  • Crystal Bowersox, the American Idol runner-up with the dreadlocks and hippie stench, has married her long-time musician boyfriend Brian Walker. Her wedding gown was an "Earth-friendly hemp and cotton gown from Vermont designer Tara Lynn that features macramé, seashell and bead detailing and was created in the designer's solar-powered studio." [People]