Your Economic Nobel Winners: Blame Them for EverythingS

The Way We Live Now: finally being recognized for our brilliance. Winning the Nobel Prize in Economics while the global economy's as shitty as this is a lot like winning Juiciest Cow at the Slaughterhouse. It's...an honor.

We fell to our knees and prepared a burnt offering of stolen counterfeit $20 bills this morning in honor of the three Nobel economics winners, the foremost members of the foreleast profession, at this very moment, amongst the frothing, uneducated masses, bent only on stealing an economist's hubcaps. Honor them with us!

PETER DIAMOND: This MIT professor's nomination to the Federal Reserve Board was blocked by Republicans. He studies unemployment and his last name is "Diamond." Is he trying to insult you?

DALE MORTENSEN: This guy helped to expand the theory of "search markets" and apply that theory to labor markets. He works at Northwestern and he has a good job, even though his name is "Dale." You could learn something from him, Cletus.

CHRISTOPER PISSARIDES: Some have described this man as "British-Cypriot," while others allege that his work has helped to explain how government regulation and economic policy affect the housing market, among other things. Despite these detractors he's survived to a ripe old age with the word "Piss" in his name, so he probably knows some sweet karate.

Remember when Paul Krugman won it? Now that was a guy you could really pretend to understand.