Bravo announced a new slate of reality shows today, and they all sound... Just like everything else on the network. Which isn't a bad thing! Not necessarily. For example, Project Runway's Chris March is getting his own show!
Yes, the lovable and outrageous fashion rascal will have a program in which he designs fashions for big-name clients, people like Madonna and Meryl Streep. Zounds. If Meryl Streep actually ends up on a reality television program opposite Chris March, well you can just call the cemetery and tell them I'm on my way, because I will have died.
The other shows on Bravo's slate are less exciting. There's a show about caterers called Roble & Co., that will hopefully at least feature a bevy of attractive cater waiters (and waitresses! lesbians and straight guys watch Bravo, right? ...Right?).
Dean's List is about a guy whose last name is Dean and, I dunno, has a list or something? He's a hairdresser, and hair shows are always super thrilling. You know, what with all that hair. That the hairdresser in question looks like gay Tony Soprano means the show could at least be slightly interesting.
The last new show is somewhat mysterious. It's called Thicker Than Water, and it's about "a sprawling, multigenerational family as they go from celebrations to family feuds." Hmm... Could be good, depending on where they live. Some crazy clan in the Ozarks? Yes. Some boring upper-middle-class family droning around Santa Barbara? Not as much. Well, actually, that could be pretty interesting.
In renewal news, Top Chef Desserts is probably going to get a second season, mostly because pastry chefs are apparently insane. Entirely fucking nuts.