Chilean Miners Did Not Have Sex With Each Other, You Perv

The 33 Chilean miners who were trapped underground for 69 days have finally been freed, and Mario Sepulveda, the rescue's "undisputed star," has given his first interview. Obviously, the burning question is: Did the miners have sex with each other?

He says: ‘No, nothing like that ever went on. We were too busy trying to survive to think of sex.

‘We didn't really even talk about sex. We spoke of our wives and we made some jokes but we never talked about sex seriously because that would have been too painful...

Saying we had sex down there with each other is just plain wrong.

So stop thinking about it! That's Sepulveda in the photo above, re-enacting the totally hilarious prank he played on his fellow miners where he pretended to die. Sepulveda, you see, was "the funny one," and forced himself to keep joking to keep up morale. Sex or no sex, this guy is pretty awesome, and I hope he gets someone good to play him in the movie.

[Daily Mail]