Christmas and Retirement Are Luxuries We Can No Longer Afford

The Way We Live Now: riding dirty. Clocking dollars. Unretiring, training for the worst, and calling off Christmas. It's been one of those kinds of eons, hasn't it?

WE'RE DIRTY: Oil sands. You wanna get paid these days? Get your hands into some oil sands. Deep into em. Then pull out that oil.

WE'RE DOLLAZ: The dollar is freefalling. How low can it go? It's giving America a complex. We're more used to clocking dollars by the hour, like a digital.

WE'RE UNRETIRED: We're coming up $50k short on our retirement kitties. Consequently, we won't be retiring. Or, if we have, we'll be unretiring.

WE'RE TRAINING HARD: How do you get yourself $28 billion in the hole running a god damn urban mass transit system? Oh, that's right: by being crooks.

WE'RE SCROOGING: The Queen of England has canceled the Christmas Party. What do you think that means for you, worm? Hint: nothing good. Grab the diamonds and wood and make your way out of town. If things keep going like this, we're all gonna end up living in Queens.

[Pic via]