Your daily look into the twitterific lives of our favorite celebs

Why am I singling out white babies? Cause minority babies know to shut the fuck up on planes. For real.Thu Oct 21 11:23:50 via Twitter for iPhone

Aziz Ansari

If he's lying send him a picture of a Brown or Black baby crying on a plane.

Masturbating is to sex as regrouting tile is to sex.Thu Oct 21 14:07:46 via web

Alex Baze

Because sex is amazing and magical and flooring/tiles are not.

You ever get crabs? No? Me. Twice. Same girl.
Think I would learn my lesson. Had to shave my balls.
They ended up looking like poodles.Thu Oct 21 14:52:33 via web

Sal Lupo

Poodle Balls? Awesomely offensive.

Train note! Slapping a book out of a lady's hand on the train and then asking "why you keep droppin' yr book?!" is not flirting.Thu Oct 21 16:20:37 via web

kurt braunohler

I guess, "So what are you reading?" just doesn't make that sparky first impression.

Every time I take a cab I like to pretend I am on that "Taxicab Confessions" program so I can take my top off. The drivers always love it.Thu Oct 21 19:10:48 via TweetDeck

Dave Hill

Who doesn't love a little indecent exposure?