Lindsay Lohan Might Go Back to Jail Today

Another day of Lindsay Lohan reckoning is nigh. Kim Kardashian's birthday cake will be encrusted in diamonds. The Sister Wives polygamists are actually kinda incestuous. Like, more than we realized the first time around. TGIFriday gossip.

  • Today Lindsay Lohan heads back to court, to find out whether or not she'll return to jail for failing a drug test during her latest conditional release from jail, which was itself a consequence of breaking probation, which was itself a consequence of multiple DUI's and an inability to stay away from booze even when there was an alcohol monitor strapped to LiLo's very person. Anyway, Dina Lohan visited her in rehab (which Lindsay just left, to prepare for the court appearance) and "is feeling the stress." Trust me, Dina: Lindsay's feeling it more than you are. Unless, of course, she has given in to apathetic failure completely at this point. [Radar, Popeater, image via Splash]

  • Lisa Marie Presley "didn't understand" her relationship with Michael Jackson. So I guess she has that in common with the rest of us. [Popeater]

  • Kim Kardashian's birthday cake, which will be presented to her with reality TV cameras rolling on Saturday, will be worth nearly $2 million. "The jeweler is going to encrust the cake with loose diamonds… Their goal is to break the record for the most expensive cake ever made, which was $1.65 million dollars." These people are awful. On the other hand, if Kanye West is there, the collision of his new diamond teeth with Kim's diamond cake could be interesting. [Radar]

  • Taylor Swift's is "playing with fire" by writing a song that is maybe-probably about John Mayer. You thought his Jessica Simpson "sexual napalm" interview was a trainwreck? Just wait until you see the trainwreck he's going to unleash on you, chortles a "giddy friend of John's." [Popeater]

  • "Sister Wives Bombshell: Janelle Was Married Before She Met Kody — To The Brother Of Wife No. 1, Meri!" Gross. [Star]

  • Back when he was a teenager, Rod Stewart knocked up a lady, and they put the baby up for adoption. He was "absolutely stone broke," he explained. But the daughter—who is now 46—reconnected with Rod after her adoptive parents died, and "it's working out pretty well. I never felt like I was her dad, because I didn't take her to school, change her nappies, there was no paternal thing there, but I'm trying." I wonder if she's met her charming siblings, yet. [Popeater]

  • Christina Aguilera filed for divorce on the same day that she went to the ER for a busted lip. Some say the divorce wasn't related to domestic violence. (Wasn't the story that they were separated for months, anyway?) Others are continuing the insinuation game, noting that ex-husband Jordan Bratman took her to the hospital. [TMZ, Radar]

  • Jay-Z unveiled a "giant page" from his upcoming autobiography, only to notice a gigantic typo. Somewhere, a copyeditor is worried about his job. (Actually, I think they all are these days, regardless.) [P6]

  • Russell Simmons on Courtney Love: "I think she is a sweet girl… It's probably exciting to be a crackhead." How do you know that, Russell? "I wouldn't say I was a crackhead, but I did smoke a lot of crack." Fair enough. [P6]