The Vast Democratic Conspiracy to Disenfranchise Pro-Wrestling FansS

Former World Wrestling Entertainment CEO Linda McMahon is within five points of Democrat Richard Blumenthal in Connecticut's Senate race. But her base of voters who wear only WWE apparel is being threatened by election laws barring political advertising at polls.

The AP reports that Connecticut's (Democratic!) Secretary of State is telling local election officials they can ask people to cover up any WWE garb or change clothes if they show up on election day wearing, say, an oversized T-shirt of Randy Orton with lightning bolts coming out of his eyes.

The stated reason is that, technically, this could break laws against political advertising within 75 feet of polls, since Linda McMahon has used her experience as WWE's CEO to sell her campaign. This is a dumb reason: Have you seen the people who wear WWE T-shirts? Not exactly the model spokesperson.

McMahon's husband, Vince McMahon, sees the move basically as a poll tax for people who like watching men beat up each other:

"Denying them their First Amendment rights, regardless if they are Democrat, Republican or Independent is un-American, unconstitutional and blatantly discriminatory."

Little-known fact: The Founding Fathers were all wearing WWE apparel when they wrote the constitution. There was actually an entire Bill of Rights written especially for people who wear WWE apparel, but Ben Franklin shredded it up and used it as bedding for his python, so it is lost to history.