The merry band of marys on Logo's "gay housewives" show The A-List celebrated Gay Pride last night. They did it by bringing everyone in the universe shame with a naked photo shoot, a drama-filled party, and an ugly foot tattoo.
But don't just take our word for it. This reminds us of a conversation we overheard between Dustin and Jayden, the two most obnoxious homosexuals in Manhattan, on the Friday of Pride weekend. It seems like they have some opinions about the cast as well.
"Hey Dustin. Guess who's going to be the special guest at the Pier Dance this year."
"I heard it was Lady Gaga. She is going to be in New York."
"No, it's going to be Kylie. She does have an album coming out."
"No, I saw Katy Perry on Eight Avenue last week, so it has to be her."
"You don't know what you're talking about. Anne Hathaway was at Barrage last weekend. I bet it's her."
"Lady, she doesn't even have a single."
"Fine, then it's Lady Gaga."
"Told you. Anyway, know who's going to be at Pride for sure? Reichen. She's trying to fool people into going to that play of hers."
"They took it from running four nights a week to three nights a week. It's probably because he has a foot tattoo."
"Yes, it's like a tribal tattoo on his foot."
"God, I hate those queens. They all have the same fucking tattoo, but they're all like, 'I'll put it on my belly, I'll put it on my earlobe, I'll put it on my foot.' Girl, you ain't that different because it's on your foot."
"I know. Like look at us. You have highlights in the front of your hair and I have highlights all over. It's totally different."
"Reichen has fat feet too."
"Well, now he can work them out cause he ain't gonna have no job."
"Look at how good his boyfriend looks. Maybe it's cause he ain't got no job."
"I heard that really pisses Reichen off."
"How did you hear that? Reichen is always saying that he's been in so many public relationships that he hates when people talk about his business in public."
"That queen lies. If that's how she feels, why is there a camera following her around all the time?"
"Right. Why did they invite a therapist over their apartment and film it?"
"Right! Why did they have a threeway with a twink in the back of the Cock?"
"What were you doing at The Cock?"
"Oh, just buying coke. And giving some blow jobs."
"Girl, how you affordin' coke?"
"Well, the blow job kind of lead to the coke, you know."
"Girl, you nasty."
"Not as nasty as Austin."
"She not nasty. She fat."
"She got a fat belly."
"A fat chest."
"A fat ass."
"A fat pinky finger."
"A fat head."
"A fat cock."
"Oh! You heard that too?"
"Yeah, TJ told me."
"Girl, I love me some TJ."
"Girl, me too. She said that she and Ryan set up some fancy photo shoot for Austin and all Austin wanted to do was get new naked shots for her Manhunt profile."
"Please. She don't use Manhunt. She's on Adam 4 Adam with the rest of the poors."
"After the photo shoot, Ryan arranged Austin to meet an immigration lawyer..."
"No, girl, her man all lives in England, and they're trying to get him over here. But then Austin didn't even show up for the appointment."
"She said she and the boyfriend were beating each other up in Times Square and that he couldn't talk."
"Please, honey. That only makes sense if you're on tina."
"Right. Austin and Ryan got into a big fight about that at Derek's Pride party."
"Did you go to that?"
"No. I was invited, but...Well, you know. It was at the Soho House. Did you go?"
"No. I was invited but I ended up picking up this guy named Roberto at Quo on Friday and I was all 'Are you going to Derek's Party' and he was all 'Well, we just went out on a date' so I was all 'Oh, was it good?' and he was all 'He said I was nice which means that he thinks I'm boring but wants to fuck me' and I was all 'I think you're boring and I want to fuck you' and he was all 'Fuck Derek's party, let's go fuck' and I was all like 'Yeah, daddy, take it!'"
"Good for you lady, but you ain't foolin' anybody trying to pretend to be a top. Well, I guess Austin crashed and then Ryan and Austin got in a fight because Austin skipped the appointment because he was playing Ike and Tina in Times Square with his Mexican boyfriend and then Derek and Austin got in a fight, and then someone was like 'Why are we at Soho House? Isn't this place over?' It was a mess."
"Girl, Pride is always a mess. Speaking of messes, did you see Mike Ruiz and his wet poodle haircut?"
"No, she was hanging out with her dad."
"But she's a daddy already. How can she be with another daddy?"
"No, it was her real father."
"Oh. Who invites their father to town for Pride? You can't bring your dad to a champagne brunch."
"Or a circuit party."
"Or a sex party."
"Or the Pier Dance."
"Unless your dad is Lady Gaga."
"Lady Gaga is performing at the Pier Dance! Giiiiiiirrrrrlllllll, what am I going to wear? I have to tell errrrybody!"