Breast taxes! Cortisone effects! Toxic prisons! Glaxo whistleblowers! Manhattan noise! Personalized therapies! HuffPo quackery! And the Army vs. suicide! It's your Wednesday Health Watch, where we watch your health—with pharmacologically-inspired positive mental attitude!
- Here's the thing: the patriarchal tax structure does not allow mothers to "use their tax-sheltered health care accounts to pay for breast pumps and other supplies." I guess the patriarchal tax structure doesn't need to get laid this year, hmm?
- Do cortisone shots make things better? Or, on the contrary, do cortisone shots make things worse? That's the question in a nutshell, Sherlock.
- An investigation says that US prisoners were exposed to dangerous levels of toxic metals during their work in prisons. America responded, "What time does the game start tonight?"
- The former employee who blew the whistle on unsafe practices at GlaxoSmithKline gets $96 million. And meanwhile when you told your boss that Kevin had stolen your yogurt out of the fridge for the third day in a row, the whole thing was swept under the rug.
- Warning: 98% of public spaces in Manhattan have "unhealthy" noise levels. I said ninety... I said... just call me when you get home.
- Pharma companies are working on new diagnostic tools to better personalize individual therapies, because no one loves you.
- Gee, is the Huffington Post's Health section really a "wretched hive of scum and quackery?" Well that's what the scientist say, but the quacks disagree, so we'll remain impartial.
- A new study indicates that women who have low sex drives may have a problem that originates in the brain. Haha that's weird cause we woulda thought the problem originates in their [MADLIBS].
- If you get sepsis, it will mess up your body and mind for years to come. So don't get sepsis.
- The US Army's undertaken a big new study to find out the best suicide prevention programs. Early leader: staying the fuck out of the US Army.