So, Lauren Conrad, in all her banal chicness, told sort of a funny story! She was, like, attacked by monkeys. And even though this is a clip from Lopez Tonight, it's worth watching—we, like, promise! Video inside.

Here is a transcript:

So he, like, kept trying to get into my bag, and I was like, "oh no no no!" and then he like, like, showed me his little monkey teeth and he was like 'gahhhh' so I was like, uh, 'no, um, no monkey,' and then I kinda stopped, and I like turned, and there was like a BIG monkey next to me and I was like, 'what's up?' and then he like flipped open the flap and started unzipping it like he knew how to get into the purse and I tried to pull it away and the little monkey tried to bite me [breath] so like he went to grab my leg and grab my skirt and bit it...and I. Freaked. Out. So I went running and they like cornered me and I had like monkeys cornering me and my poor boyfriend turned into like Godzilla, he was like 'Arrrgghhhhh' to try to scare them away" [...] "He did! He was just like 'No! No!' and like started like yelling at them and I was like, 'How did you know to like...'

This could, like, totally be used in, like, an acting class, riiiiiiight?