Beloved True Blood Star Becoming a Mass MurdererS

We're sorry to say, it's happening. Cult leader, killer, all that. Also today: a movie studio is more powerful than a country, the new Batman movie is just recycling the old title, and Darren Aronofsky loves robots.

Hm. True Blood's own Abs McGillicuddy Ryan Kwanten is getting ready to play insane cult leader Charles Manson in a new biopic. Well, I suppose if there was someone I was going to follow into the depths of SoCal hippie madness, it'd be someone who looked like Ryan Kwanten. Plus, it will be really interesting to watch him do this. [NBC]

Not satisfied with just one project about people made of metal, X-Men Origins: Wolverine 2 (it just rolls off the tongue, doesn't it?) director Darren Aronofsky is lining up another similar project, this one called Machine Man. Basically it's about a nerdy guy who begins replacing his noodle-limbs and jiggle-gut with powerful machine parts. So it's quite literally about a man who becomes a machine. Hence the title, Machine Man. Do you get it now? It's not just about a man who is a fan of machines. "Yeah, he's a real machine man." It's about a man who is a machine. "Dude, he's a machine!" But not in the idiomatic way. In the very real way. [Deadline]

Well, the country of New Zealand has reached an agreement with Time Warner over the filming of The Hobbit. Warner Bros. will keep filming on Kiwi Island, and in exchange all the country of New Zealand, again it's an entire independent nation, has to do is pass parliamentary legislation that effectively prohibits workers in the country's film industry from unionizing. So, you know, that's all. Just an American company bending the laws of a sovereign nation to its will. That's all. Nothing to see here. Yay Hobbit! That's just good news, right? Hobbits! Industry! Politics! Wait, no, forget politics! Just the Hobbits! Think only of the Hobbits. [THR]

Here it is! The next Batman movie will be called The Dark Knight Rises. Which, eh. There's also word that it's been confirmed that the Riddluh won't be the villain in this one. Lame on both accounts I think! I mean, have they never heard of The Dark Is Rising? That is basically the same title. Let's get original here. Or if we're going to ape titles, let's ape them a little more creatively. What about Batman: The Incident at Cowl Creek. Or Fear the Cape!. Personally I like the title I submitted to Nolan and Warner Bros., The Continued Adventures of Growlpuss. I just think that's what people want to know about a movie. Will their favorite superhero, Growlpuss, continue to have adventures? Yes, my title says. Growlpuss is still going on and/or having adventures. Simple and effective. But no. I guess it was too simple. [Variety]

After getting eliminated from Dancing With the Stars last night, then falling down the stairs on her way out of the studio, then somehow locking herself in her car, then falling up the stairs at her house, then somehow getting her head stuck in the clothes hamper, then walking through the screen door to her backyard, then talking to the moths flying around the porch light for a while, Audrina Patridge, of The Hills, somehow managed to land her own reality show. It will be on VH1 and it will follow her as she tries to make it as a legitimate actress. And as everyone knows, the first step to becoming a legitimate, respected actress is to have a VH1 reality show. Does this mean that Justin Bobby: The Animated Series might soon become a reality? [Deadline]

Ho. Ly. Shit. Guys. Brace thyselves. You know our favorite show, The NCIS, about how many Naval murders there are in the greater Baltimore area? Well, in a huuuuge November sweeps episode, a beloved character is going to get shot! It's been narrowed down to Tony, Ziva, McGee, and Vance. So who will it be??? The hideously unfunny wisecracking one? The "ethnic" girl one (two birds, one stone!)? The lumpy Middle American-appealing one? Or the one played by the actor named Rocky? Tune into The NCIS on CBS to find out. Personally, I wish they'd all get shot. Even you, Harmon. And especially you, Abby. Esssssspecially you. [EW]