What could go wrong with getting married in the beautiful Maldives? How about hiring a minister who calls you "infidel" and "swine" in a language you don't understand? Like, say, the poor unidentified couple in this video?

How romantic, to get married in the Maldives in a ceremony presided over by an exotic native-type minister! It is less romantic, though, when you find out that he is not so much a minister, as "the [Vilu Reef Beach and Spa] hotel's food and beverage manager Hussein Didi," and translate what he's saying, as the Daily Mail did:

‘You are swine. The children that you bear from this marriage will all be bastard swine.

‘Your marriage is not a valid one. You are not the kind of people who can have a valid marriage.

‘One of you is an infidel. The other, too, is an infidel and, we have reason to believe, an atheist, who does not even believe in an infidel religion.'

Ha, well, to be honest, that is kind of a sick burn. But it's also very rude! And besides, he's not even reading the actual script of whatever fake marriage ceremony these hapless tourists thought they were getting—just "a document outlining staff employment regulations."


In any event, Vilu Reef Beach and Spa has "expressed deep regret," and Foreign Minister Ahmed Shaheed has said he was "horrified," though I don't really know why, since the betrothed more or less got what they wanted—the feeling of some kind of exotic marriage ceremony, I guess—and the Maldivians did what basically anyone exposed to a high volume of tourists will eventually do: Insult them in snide ways they won't understand. Plus, the couple still hasn't been identified—the Daily Mail thinks they're Swiss—so for all we know, this was what they asked for.


[Daily Mail]