When the two most powerful commercial forces in the known universe—Justin Bieber and Wal-Mart—join forces, what hope is there for any of us? Soon, Justin Bieber will drench your tween daughters in his own scent. Like a dog.
The Bieber-Wal-Mart combo is disturbing enough as a concept. But it was inevitable that these two marketing behemoths would team up. What's not okay is the Bieber merchandise selection coming to a soulless, neon-lit hellhouse near you:
The unisex fragrance line, backed by Mr. Bieber's manager Scooter Braun, Island Records and Etoile Nation Beauty, comes in four scents priced at $10 with each meant to be mixed and matched for a personalized smell. In a kicker that plays perfectly on the year's biggest toy craze, Silly Bandz, it will also come in the form of scent-infused wrist bands and dog tags.
Justin Bieber wants to tag your daughter like a dog. When you add in the Justin Bieber nail polish and the Justin Bieber bedding, your tween daughter's entire body could be swathed in Justin Bieber at all times. I hope you're comfortable with that.