Last week gentlemen (or one gentleman, depending on who you believe) from two Duke fraternity houses sent out, to 300 or so choice ladies, an email wooing them to their houses by calling them sluts and making Helen Keller jokes.

The copies you see here were printed out and pasted around campus, with some outraged scrawling at the bottom added by some angry lesbo who got her flannel panties in a twist. I mean, dude, this shit is hilarious! What sane American girl could resist such witty enticements?

Duke Frats Send Charming Halloween Party Invitations to CoedsS

Duke Frats Send Charming Halloween Party Invitations to CoedsS


Fucking epic!!!!!! Now, amidst a sea of said lesbo outrage, dudes from the fraternities have been all "Nah man, it was just one dude. We're not all like that." Total pussies! I mean, who cares?? It's totally normal behavior! So says the Duke Chronicle, anyway:

"Honestly, when I first received those e-mails [Saturday night] I didn't think anything of it," said senior Emily Fausch, secretary of Delta Delta Delta sorority. "This is the kind of thing I've come to expect from fraternities. In my heart, I know it's a problem but I've really gotten used to it."

Junior Isaac Mizrahi, who recently co-hosted a forum on gender and greek life and asked not be identified with his fraternity in this article, said the e-mails are products of an arms race among fraternities who use crude humor to catch the attention of their social circles.

"They want to send the funniest e-mails so they can have the best parties so they can get the quote unquote best girls so they can get the quote unquote best pledge class," he said. "That competitiveness drives people to push the limits."

Haha. Um. Do you see what I see? Isaac Mizrahi is officially the best part of this whole story. Who knew that old queen went back to school? Good for him.

And bad for you, ugly chicks who can't take a joke. You're probably just pissed at some dude who wouldn't sleep with you. BOOM.

(In all seriousness, Duke really just needs to chill out with being Duke for a while. Seriously guys. Just... take a break. Just don't be Duke for a while.)