Scarlett Johansson Is Going to Eat You AliveS

And she's gonna like it. Also today: Yay for Fox News, they are great. Yay for Chelsea Handler, she is great. Watch a video of actresses complimenting each other, and hear the good news about two skinny dark-haired guys.

Here's something that will surprise probably no one. Fox News, philanthropist Rupert Murdoch's passionately objective television news organization, had nearly triple the ratings of its closest competitor, CNN, during last night's stirring, thrilling, uplifting midterm elections coverage. They engrossed 7 million pairs of eyeballs, while CNN prattled on to a distant 2.4m. So good for everyone for making that happen, it's good to know that everything — politics, media, all in between — is working in perfect concert with each other. Swirl on, beautiful blue marble! Swirl and swirl, ever toward that faraway light. [THR]

Oh gosh, the good news just keeps on coming! NBC has picked up a new sitcom based on the life of Chelsea Handler! Hahaha, hooray! What a wonderful world I woke up to this morning! The series will be based on her hilarious bestselling books about vodka and sex. Who doesn't love television shows about wacky single gals?? The wackier the better! Zany, even! Quirky? Sarcastic? Bring 'em on. Shove that shit in my television faster'n you can encourage judicial activism while pretending to fight judicial activism! C'mon, America!!! I want more!!! Give it to me!! What're you waiting for?? Give it to me!! Just fucking give it to me already!!!!!! [Deadline]

Ahem. Sexy beast Scarlett Johansson has signed on to star in a new sci-fi film from Sexy Beast director Jonathan Glazer. The movie is called Under Your Skin and is about a sexy human-hungry alien (Ray Winstone. Kidding, it's Johansson) who stalks the lonely highways, luring in male prey with her sexuality. Then she has a change of heart and fights to protect the humans against her fellow aliens. So. OK. I can't wait for people to be like "Ohh... I wanna get under Scarlett Johansson's skin, if you know what I mean!" and then someone else being like "Yeah, I do. I would totally wear a Scarlett Johansson skinsuit too." And then there's a strange, uncomfortable silence, interrupted only by the distant sound of a police siren. (But seriously, Scarlett Johansson playing a sexy alien that kills people with her sexuality but then becomes good? I mean, come on. Who wrote this thing, Nicolas Cage's twin brother in Adaptation?) [Variety]

Oh here's something that's mildly good. Known boombalottie Milo Ventimiglia (or as I like to call him, Mickey Twenty-Miles), will be the star of a show that NBC is developing called Rest. It's based on a comic book that Mickey Twenty-Miles co-created, about a New York workaholic who starts taking a trial drug that eliminates the need for sleep, and then of course everything gets weird. So that's kind of interesting. Ventimiglia isn't necessarily the most dynamic actor of his generation, but he's perfectly fine and reasonable, and hopefully he's playing a character that's less annoying than the one he played on Heroes. I mean, every single fucking character on that show was ungodly annoying, so it was very likely the fault of the writers' and not ol' Mickey Dickitey-Six. [Deadline]

Hey, here. Watch a bunch of actresses (best bolding of this entire post series, I think) talk about how wonderful and fascinating show business really is, and how wonderful and fascinating they really are. Annette Bening and her most hated enemy, hayseed acting robot Hilary Swank, are in the same room together! [THR]

Oh weird. Proto-hipster/nerd Gideon Yago, of MTV VJ fame, has become a TV writer apparently and is successfully pitching projects left and right. The Fourth Estate will tackle the newspaper business for AMC, which could be pretty interesting, actually. A bit depressing, but interesting. And then there will be a soapier show for ABC called Long Gray Line, about cadets at West Point. Oh my, a sexy drama about army cadets? Don't ask, but do telllll. ROWRRRRR. Ahem. Anyway. Good for Gideon! [Variety]