Bristol Palin Didn't VoteS

Baby-making teen role model Bristol Palin was too busy shimmying to vote: "I did not send in my absentee ballots to Alaska. I'm going to be in trouble. Sorry, mom!"

Her mother retorted, "Yeah? Well, my Dancing with the Stars votes were all for the Situation, anyway." In other news, the Washington Post's Celebritology blog has a nice metaphor for Bristol's uncanny ability to escape elimination at the hands of DWTS voters:

Week after week, she's been her own Tea Party—the improbable, unqualified, ostensibly unelectable wild card who keeps defying all odds.

Bristol Palin: apathetic demagogue of dance.

Instead of voting off low-scoring Bristol, DWTS viewers heartlessly "shellacked" the elite judging panel's favorite, perfectionist black guy and basketball enthusiast Rick Fox. Not that this DWTS-as-democracy metaphor should be taken seriously! Just, um, making note. [Celebritology, image via Getty]