Our Economy Is a Mighty Rocket, Soaring Towards the Heavens

The Way We Live Now: on a Challenger shuttle trip straight to the moon. We surely will not encounter any unexpected tragedies! Stocks are up. The art market's back. We're getting cash for Christmas. Soar, America—hubris be damned!

You know Wall Street came back big today, but do you know how big? Let us put it in perspective for you: the last time the Dow was this high, we were still talking about Sarah Palin.

Those bygone days so long ago, how we wistfully recall them! Now that stocks are back in the big time, it's time for art auctions at Christie's to start breaking sales records once again. And we can finally start giving each other cash for Christmas again, now that we'll be able to scrape together enough for a folding bill.

Though we're only able to do so by eating in cheaper restaurants.

What's certain is that this recovery marks just the early stages of a precipitous near-vertical line heading straight upwards unto infinity, never wavering or reversing its course. Even Somalia has a real estate boom now. Just invest your money there, here, anywhere... what does it matter? We've recovered our mojo, and when our mojo flows, those who don't know get blowed and rolled and sold.

Once all these new people get their unemployment checks, the stimulus will literally never stop flowing. To the moon, Alice! To the mutual funds!

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