How to Tell If Al-Qaeda Has Sewn a Bomb Inside Your Dog

Did you know that al-Qaeda in Iraq once surgically implanted bombs inside two stray dogs and tried to put them on a plane to the U.S.? Here's how to tell if your dog is a bomb-carrying al-Qaeda agent.

According to the French paper Le Figaro, the terrorist group picked up two stray dogs in Baghdad and sewed explosives inside them, intending to put them on a U.S.-bound flight (apparently, a lot of stray Iraqi dogs are adopted by animal-rescue groups and U.S. troops). The plan didn't work, but the harrowing tale should serve as a wake-up call to all dog owners: Al-Qaeda could recruit your dog at any time. Here's how to tell if your dog has a bomb sewn inside itself:

  • Is your dog dead? Al Qaeda's plot failed when the soldiers working at the airport noticed that the bomb-carrying dogs had died. Throw a ball toward your dog. Does he run after it? If not, he is likely dead, and you should contact the police immediately.
  • Is your dog making any odd noises? Place your head near your dog. Can you hear a ticking noise? This is almost definitely a bomb. Call your local army recruitment office.
  • Is your dog becoming sullen and withdrawn? Your dog may have been radicalized by al-Qaeda or another group. Check your web-browsing history. Has your dog been visiting jihadist websites and message boards? If so, call the local F.B.I. office right away.
  • Is your dog on fire? One of the most telling signs of an explosion is fire. Even if your dog is on fire for a non-explosive reason, this is a serious issue. Douse your dog in water and contact your local fire department.

[Le Figaro via NYP]