Wax those handlebars, boys, this lady's got a thing for lip-ticklers. Or if you prefer gals with that sneaky-hot librarian look, we'll introduce you to a junior CSI whose bedazzled blouse barely contains her Bobbsey Twins.

So, a health scare has Dan Stark down in the dumps and contemplating his mortality. Fence-turned-informant-turned-bartender Julius suggests a smoothie, but Dan's spirits are immediately lifted by the arrival of this seductress:


It turns out that Dan's blood type is AB-negative, and Ms. Chloroform's true intention is to harvest Dan's valuable organs. If she were aware of his unique diet, however, she would probably reconsider:


Meanwhile, the main plot of this episode features an insurance scam involving the fake theft of a work of modern art. The painting itself is never revealed to the audience, and it is said to be a design that becomes whatever the viewer wants it to be, which reminds me of a mural I once saw in a Unitarian church. The characters' various interpretations thus become a running gag:

Something we haven't mentioned in these weekly visits [http://tv.gawker.com/5678855/] with Dallas's finest is that Angela Sarafyan has been added to the cast as Samantha, a rookie CSI whose tech savvy makes her a valuable sidekick for the proudly analogue Dan Stark. She's been to one of my mother's garage sales, too, or so I assume, based on the top that she sports in this clip:

One more thing: one of The Bad Guys in this episode was named "Rondo Green" — do you suppose that the screenwriter is a Celtics fan?