The age-old question "Which animal has the biggest testicles?" finally has an answer: Platycleis affinis, the tuberous bush cricket, officially has the largest balls in relation to its body mass of any species—at 14 percent of body weight.
Scientists at the University of Cambridge made "delicate measurements" of the cricket's, you know, package, as part of an insect sex-study, and came away boggled by the size of its huevos. The researchers speculate that the large nads' evolutionary advantage lies in their ability to produce sperm more quickly, and allow the crickets to mate more often.
But still: 14 percent of body weight! How big are we talking on a human being? "If the same proportion were applied to a man, his testicles would weigh the equivalent of six bags of sugar each," the Guardian helpfully tells us. If the average American male weighs 190.9 pounds, we're talking a 26.73-pound package. That's the average weight of a nineteen-month-old boy. Or three gallons of milk. Or five-and-a-half MacBooks. Or two 13.37-pound testicles.